just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
