Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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