i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We left the knife in your bed.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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