im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
