yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
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