that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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