Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
