but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
