People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You took a bar mat shot.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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