you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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