ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
try to milk me bitch
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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