it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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