my soul wont recognize me after tonight
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
