She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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