I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
