what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the day after is always just damage control
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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