so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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