Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
