do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
