Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
