So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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