Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
