I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
