I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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