There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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