Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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