id be glad to
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
