Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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