I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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