Pappa wants mamma naked
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
