so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize
