oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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