I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
