somebody snuck up and got me drunk
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
