Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The feeling are messing with the penis
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
