We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
