Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We're using joints as your birthday candles
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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