there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
