R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
