i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
