That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
