Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
