i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
