Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
