I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
