Midget sex pt 2 tonight
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
