I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
