i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
