kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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