i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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