AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
