it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
